And So It Begins…

Finally.

That’s really the only word that comes to mind as I write this. It’s been a long time coming. These words, and the words that will soon populate my first novel. I thought they’d never get here.

But here we are.

I’ve already posted on what has had me all tied up, afraid to write. The fear really made it a struggle. However, as things have changed for me personally in the last few months, I’ve begun to look more closely at why I wasn’t writing, at how I could get past it, and why I even feel the need to do it at all.

Of course, the need has been there a long time. Writing certainly isn’t new to me. Continuing to write is. I’ve begun and completed screenplays, but a novel? Never.

Why a novel? Why now?

The idea was sparked a year ago. On September 1, 2016, I read Me and Earl and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews. A wonderful movie and an equally wonderful novel. Then came Paper Towns and Looking for Alaska by John Green. By the end of September I had made my way through 9 young adult novels. As I read the last couple of books that month, ideas sprouted (as they often do for writers) and I started taking some notes. Just vague ideas at that point, but ideas nonetheless.

Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell was the one that set me on the path I have taken up again today. One of the things I liked so much about that book was how Rowell handled the dual point of view with two main protagonists. That got me thinking about a screenplay I had written back in 2006 that generically speaking was much like E&P. I thought more about that story I had written and it clamped on tight. I bounced some ideas off a couple of friends and took their feedback. I took lots of notes that month.

Then the fear set in again.

What am I doing?

I’m no good at this.

Nobody’s going to want to read this.

On top of that, in April of this year I experienced some major turmoil personally that left me thinking of little else than how I intended to survive it all. Yet, in the back of my mind, the story was still there brewing. Occasionally I’d wake with another note or idea and jot it down, but no writing was done.

So, why now? Well, as with anything in life, if not now, when? My personal life is not close to being back to how it was, though I’m working on it, and I’ve found that at times I really do need an escape, something, anything to help me take my mind off the troubles.

Writing has always provided that kind of escape. The ideas and notes have melded into an outline, a promise of what is to come. They point the way for me, leading me back to the path I’ve walked along before. Which leaves me with only one thing left to do…

Write.